Hitting Her Mark
Interview by Cat Cohen
Words by Emilia Petrarca
To make it in New York City, you need a good sense of humor—and Cat Cohen has it in spades.
New York City is an endless well from which local comedians can pull material, but few are able to turn their experiences living here into delightful and poignant cabaret. Cat Cohen makes it look easy, whether she’s singing about her dating life during one of her weekly performances at Club Cumming or riffing about a self-indulgent weekend upstate, the ridiculousness of which she captures in a song called “Look at Me” for her Netflix special, The Twist…? She’s Gorgeous (a title that perfectly captures her simultaneously self-deprecating yet self-loving sense of humor). Although Cohen was born in New York, she grew up in Houston and spent her young adult years determined to find her way back. Now she’s a fashion-wearing, bold-cat-eye-loving fixture of the city’s comedy scene, reminding us all (“y’all”) how and why it’s still glamorous to live here.
Emilia Petrarca: What made you want to move to New York?
Cat Cohen: I was always like, “Get me out of Texas. I have to go where I belong: the city of dreams! Broadway, baby!” You know, such a theater kid. I moved here the day after I graduated, and have been here ever since, so 11 or 12 years. I’m official.
EP: Where was your first apartment?
CC: Fourteenth Street between Second and Third. It was me and some friends from college, right in the center of it all. It was not meant to be a three-bedroom and was super loud. We all stopped being friends. But otherwise, it was amazing. After that, I moved to Brooklyn for a while, and now I’m back in Manhattan.
EP: When you lived in Texas, did you visit NYC?
CC: I saw Hairspray when I was 12. It was my first Broadway show, and that changed my life. I went back to Texas and sang “Good Morning, Baltimore” at the school talent show, and the rest is history.
EP: Where do you like to go before or after a Broadway show?
CC: The upstairs bar at Sardis, always. It has a perfect vibe, and when you order a martini, you just feel so fab. You can also get a club sandwich late at night, I think, and meatballs—some of my favorite foods.
EP: Where’s the best place to celebrate a birthday in New York?
CC: I like Joyface on Avenue C. They play lots of disco and old-school music, and they have a waterbed. It’s sexy. It feels like a party when you walk in; you don’t have to sit at a table and play musical chairs. People dance. It’s rowdy.
EP: What’s the best first-date spot?
CC: I like Entwine in the West Village, and The Otheroom is really sexy. It’s dark and not too loud. I sound 100 years old, but I really hate it when restaurants are too noisy. It’s ruining my life. I’m always looking for a booth somewhere cozy, where you can sit side by side. Entwine has different little cozy sections. It feels like you’re in someone’s apartment. And The Otheroom has a sexy booth in the back where you can lie down. I don’t think you’re supposed to, but I have a drunken memory of doing that once.
EP: Where’s the best place to break up with someone?
CC: I’ve had so many park bench breakups. Maybe one on the West Side Highway? I had a breakup on the Williamsburg waterfront before it was Domino Park. I had one in Madison Square Park, near the Shake Shack. That’s a good one because you can get some Shake Shack afterward.
EP: Favorite place to cry in public?
CC: The train. Whenever I see someone crying on the train, I’m like, Yes, let it out. I send them loving energy. You got this. That’s why I carry big sunglasses with me, too.
EP: Favorite public restroom?
CC: The top floor of the Barnes & Noble in Union Square is a classic. I don’t know if they have stricter rules now, but it’s always been a go-to for me.
EP: Do you have a favorite museum?
CC: I wish I had a sexy answer, but I don’t. I live right by the Whitney, so I like to go there, and they have those beautiful outdoor balconies, and you can go up to the roof. It’s so nice by the water. It’s a good little activity. Plus, the High Line.
EP: Where’s your favorite place in the city to pretend you’re rich?
CC: The Shibui Spa at the Greenwich Hotel. Doesn’t it just make you want to change your whole life? The massage is, like, $400. My brother got me a gift card once, and I was like, “This is so generous.” But it didn’t even cover half of it.
EP: Do you have a favorite season in New York?
CC: Definitely fall. October is the best time to be here, just walking in the park and pretending you’re in a Meg Ryan movie.
EP: Favorite park?
CC: It’s a tie between the two classics: Central Park and Prospect Park. I think I like Prospect Park the best, though. Parts of Central Park are a bit too horse-and-carriage. Prospect Park really does make you feel like you’re out of the city.
EP: Do you have a takeout spot that, if it closed, you would starve?
CC: Uncle Ted’s Chinese food, which burned down briefly, and that was really hard for me. Then I always get Thai food, so I like Tue Thai; I get a panang curry with chicken and a pad see ew. The best sandwich is the French dip at Hillstone. That French dip is psychotic. I’m from Houston, and we would always go to a Hillstone there. I didn’t know that they were the same thing, and when I found out I could get the French dip here… It’s like a fancy Chili’s. It’s so good. The best bagel is just a lox bagel from Murray’s Bagels: everything bagel, onion, tomato, lox, cream cheese.
EP: Toasted?
CC: Depends on the place. Sometimes the bagels are so fresh you don’t want them toasted, and sometimes you need that.
EP: Are you someone who likes to work in a coffee shop?
CC: My favorite thing to do is to go to the Rose Main Reading Room at the New York Public Library in Bryant Park. I need some serious silence. I struggle with chatter. I also struggle being at home, so that makes it difficult.
EP: If someone were moving here for the first time and they wanted to make new friends, where would you tell them to go? Alternatively, where’s the best place to make an enemy?
CC: An improv class for both. There’s Upright Citizens Brigade, Second City, and Brooklyn Comedy Collective. I feel like everyone’s very open and down to get to know each other in those classes. And if you’re not vibing with someone in your class, they’re gonna become your enemy, right?
EP: When you return from a trip, where’s the first place you go?
CC: The Tavern on Jane. And then I get a foot rub at Renew Body Wellness on West 8th Street. That’s my favorite thing. It’s like $35 for an hour, and they take really good care of you. They’re super sweet.
EP: Is there anything that you recently learned about New York, even after 10 years? Or that you appreciate more now?
CC: I did a Substack reading at that bathhouse on Wall Street, and I was like, I’ve got to come here more. I love sauna culture. I was at death’s door until spring… When the weather gets warm, you really start to like it here again.
Groomer: Whittany Robinson
Production: The Curated
Local Production: Here Productions
Photo Assistants: Mark Jayson Quines and Avery J. Savage
Retouching: Nikita Shaletin
Special Thanks: East Photographic